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If you’ve always been the one who gets it done—the one who wakes up early, stays up late, checks the boxes, and holds it all together, Mother’s Day can bring up more than just flowers and cards. And if you’re now navigating motherhood with MS? There’s a good chance today feels heavy.

Because for many of us living with Multiple Sclerosis, the toughest part isn’t just the fatigue or symptoms. 

It’s grieving the version of ourselves who could do it all.

And now… we can’t.

Motherhood with MS: When Productivity Was Your Identity

Before my MS diagnosis, productivity was my default mode. I thrived on being the capable one.

I had high energy, big goals, and a to-do list that I crushed daily. And honestly? That part of me felt really good.

But MS changed that.

And I resisted it for a long time.

Last summer, I pushed myself way past my limits. I was packing up our family’s home in the brutal New Jersey heat, decluttering every room and trying to “stay on top of it all.” Meanwhile, my body was waving red flags.

My doctor finally said: “Alene, if you don’t slow down, it will take you the better part of a year to recover.”

And I knew she was right because I actually ended up in the hospital a couple weeks later.

But I also knew that because in 2014, I burned myself out so severely that I could barely make it out of bed. I wasn’t living, I was crashing. And now, as a mom? I don’t have a year to recover. I needed to stop the self-destruction.

But it didn’t feel like rest.

It felt like failure.

Why Slowing Down Feels So Defeating And What to Do About It

Here’s what I want you to know:
If slowing down feels hard, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong.
It’s because you’re letting go of a version of yourself you worked hard to become.

You were strong. You were reliable. You were a force.

But you were also tired. Burnt out. Stretched too thin.

And the truth is that version of you isn’t sustainable. MS or not.

So what do we do when the world says, “just let the dishes sit,” but seeing a messy kitchen stresses you out more?

We don’t ignore our standards.

We stop sacrificing ourselves to uphold them.

Rest doesn’t mean giving up.

Rest means asking:

• How can I do this in a way that doesn’t completely drain me?
• Does this actually need to be done right now or am I just putting pressure on myself?
• What’s the version of this that’s good enough for today?

The Phrase That Changed Everything for Me

I’ve built a new mantra into my everyday life, and I want to share it with you.

“I give myself the gift of being done.”

Done doesn’t mean perfect.

Done doesn’t mean everything is checked off.

Done means I’ve honored my energy.

I’ve done what matters.

And now, I’m allowed to rest.

Sometimes that means stopping after one load of laundry.

Sometimes it means ending a workday earlier.

Other times, it’s just giving myself permission to lie down in the middle of the day and call it productive.

My New Non-Negotiables for Rest and Recovery

Here are two practices I’ve reclaimed and why they’ve become essential as a mom living with MS:

1. Afternoon Rest (Without Guilt)

I used to think that resting in the middle of the day was lazy.
Now I know it’s the very thing that allows me to keep going.
I no longer wait for my body to scream. I listen when it whispers.

2. Yin Yoga for Nervous System Support

I started yoga in high school with my mom, and it’s something I’m slowly returning to now.
Yin yoga especially helps me slow down, reset, and calm my nervous system in a way nothing else does. It’s not about performance. It’s about presence.

A Mother’s Day Reminder for the MS Mom Who’s Tired

If you’re spending this Mother’s Day navigating guilt, grief, or exhaustion, I want you to hear this:

You are not lazy.

You are not failing.

You are doing your best with a chronic illness most people can’t see.

That matters. That counts. That is enough.

Give yourself the gift of being done today.
Whether it’s one small task or a full day of rest, let that be enough.
You’re not the same woman you were before MS… but that doesn’t mean you’re less.
You’re wiser. More compassionate. More present.

And you are absolutely still worthy of celebration, of support, and of rest.

Want More Encouragement Like This?

Tune into this week’s special episode of My MS Podcast:

🎧 Permission to Rest (Without the Guilt)
Listen now to My MS Podcast