Have you ever felt like you're standing in your own way and you can't figure out how to get out of the way? It's like you're your own worst enemy. If this feels like the story of your life, I want to have a heart-to-heart because I can definitely relate. I've been there and in many ways, I'm still there, but we don't have to stay here. Today, I'm sharing what I've learned to finally get out of your own way so that you can start moving through life, even life with MS, with more ease. And my friend, if you want to be more consistent with the healthy habits that get results, download a free copy of My Wellness Tracker at Alenebrennan. com/ tracker. Now onto today's episode. There are 1 million people diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in the US.

So that makes you one in a million. And you have a special purpose in this world that no diagnosis can take away from you. So if you are ready to reclaim your body, mind, and life from multiple sclerosis, welcome to my MS podcast. I'm your host, Alene Brennan. I'm going to keep it all the way real with you. This episode is just as much for me as it is for you. I mean, most of the episodes are just as much for me as they are for you because I am very much still a work in progress. But today's topic, getting out of your own way, feels like my battle cry some days. I don't know about you, but I often feel like I'm constantly standing in my own way.

Like I'm the one who's making life so much harder on myself. But if I'm aware of it, how come I can't figure out how to get out of the way? It feels like a real-life riddle or something. I mean, I am a pretty driven person and I love setting goals and I love being productive and efficient. And for the most part, that drive has served me really well over the years. I had a really successful corporate career for 12 years and ultimately served as the director of corporate health promotions at a hospital system. That was just before I left to go full-time with my nutrition coaching practice about 10 years ago. Wow, time goes by so fast. As I'm saying this, I can't believe that was 10 years ago.

And during those 10 years that I was growing my nutrition coaching practice, those were the same 10 years that I lost my mom to cancer. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I got married. We went through the pandemic and I went through fertility treatments, got pregnant and had my daughter. I mean, those are not the easiest seasons in life to be a solo entrepreneur. Those years were. Hard, some of the hardest, no, the hardest years I have lived. Those are the years that you just want to show up to work with a paycheck that is automatically deposited into your account every two weeks. Life as an entrepreneur during those years is not easy. So, I mean, I can say I've done hard things and I know that I can do hard things.

And the truth is, But look, the truth is it was never my own strength. I am fully aware that my strength comes from my faith. And I'm so grateful for that because I can't get through life based on my own strength. That's not realistic. The more I go through life, the more challenging seasons I go through, the more I am so grateful for my faith and my strength from God who gets me through each and every day. But it also makes me feel kind of guilty because I feel like by standing in my own way, I'm standing in his way too. Like, can't you just let him work through you with a little bit more ease? Why are you overcomplicating things? I mean, can you relate? Am I the only one that thinks this?

And some days I blame it on MS fatigue or brain fog or a host of other reasons or maybe excuses, depending upon how you look at it. But I just so often wish that I could just step out of the way and make life easier, easier in so many ways. Even as I say it, I'm like, I just want to exhale. I want to exhale. I want things to be just a little bit easier. And I'm not suggesting that in doing so we don't experience any trials. I know that that's not realistic. I just don't want to overcomplicate things. So today I'm sharing with you my top 10 tips, yes, 10 of them, on how to get out of your own way.

Now, if you've listened to my previous podcast episodes, you know, many lists are typically three steps or a top five list. So this being a top 10 list, this is a little bit longer. However, as I was preparing for this episode and going through all of the different things, there wasn't one that I could shave off. So we're not going to dive super deep on each of them, but we are going to cover all of them because I couldn't leave any one out. And as always, I hope that you find all of them to be really helpful. But as always, just take what resonates with you and leave what doesn't. So let's dive in. Number one for getting out of your own way, stop over committing to responsibilities.

Let me ask you a question. When you were diagnosed with MS, which of these two thoughts ran through your mind first? I'm just going to have to work harder because I'm not letting MS take anything from me. Or I'm now managing a chronic illness, of which fatigue is one of the most common and challenging symptoms. So I need to start trimming the excess in my life so I can make more space to start taking care of myself and managing MS. Now, I know my community all too well. I know which one you most likely raised your hand on. And that is the first one. I fall into the first camp too. I'm just going to have to work harder because I'm not letting MS take anything from me.

And listen, I am all for that resilient mind and going after what you want in life, regardless of the circumstances. I am cheering you on 100%. But this idea, that at least I told myself that I'm just going to have to work harder to maintain my pre-MS levels of energy and productivity, both at work and home, is setting myself up for failure. I mean, talk about standing in your own way here. We live with an invisible disease and we get frustrated when other people don't recognize how much harder it is for us to do anything. And yet we don't give ourselves that grace that we are hoping and expecting from other people. We need to start with ourselves. Stop holding yourself accountable to your pre-MS standards. Where does that lead you?

It leads to burnout and potential exacerbations of symptoms. So what if, what if this year was the year that we didn't overcommit? What if this was the year that we actually created some space for ourselves and for healing? What if this is the year we truly embrace the art of saying no? That no is a complete sentence. We need to understand our limits. We need to understand that we have MS and by protecting our time and our energy, making space for healing is not a setback. That is recognizing what we are experiencing in life and honoring our body's needs. And it's supporting our body's ability to heal. We all live this firsthand, so you don't need me to tell you this, but maybe you do need the reminder like me.

With MS, our energy levels are different than they used to be. We need to recognize this and plan accordingly. It's not an act of like, giving in to MS. This is a sign of strength that we are going to make time to manage MS and make sure that we are still creating time and space for our priorities in life. And then the other stuff gets trimmed away. For example, ever since becoming a mom, I'm so much more selective of my time. And I realized that MS fatigue can pop up and I don't ever want it to stand in the way of me being the mom that I want to be. So that tidy house that I used to be obsessed with; it doesn't look the same anymore.

It's still clean and relatively organized, but I'm not chasing down every single thing that's out of place anymore. I'm not doing it. It drains my energy and it takes time away from my daughter and me. So as we talk about not over committing, maybe this means that you're letting go of something similar, like keeping such a tidy home. Or maybe it's the 5,000 activities that your kids are involved in that weigh on you, and you decide that each of your kids gets to pick one activity. They don't attend every single event. I have a very dear friend who has four children. Four children. And she doesn't have MS. She actually has the most energy out of anybody that I know.

But she says the only way to make her house run the way that it does and to keep her family grounded and together is that each child picks one sport or one activity that they're involved in. And they don't go to every birthday party. They only go to the birthday parties of their closest friends. If there are two activities in one night, she gives her kids the option, pick one. You can pick, but you're picking one because she's not running all across town to take four children to multiple events in one night. It's just not happening. And guess what? Her kids are really happy. It's the limits that she set. In her home that keeps herself and her family grounded. And again, she doesn't have MS, so she has an abundance of energy that she will openly admit.

So I see her and then I think, why am I not doing this? Now, granted, I don't have four children, but the parallel of putting up boundaries and putting up parameters to make sure that your priorities are always protected: health, family, and my mission to support the MS community. I need to make sure that those priorities get my time, energy, and attention. If there's something else in my life that's draining me and that I feel overcommitted on and is preventing me from showing up the way that I want for those other areas, it's got to go. This year, especially. I'm not doing it. It's got to go. How can you get your responsibilities to better match your life priorities and your current energy levels that will fluctuate throughout different seasons of healing?

So do a check-in, see where your energy is at right now. Is this a time where you're going through deep healing? And if so, how can you create some extra space for that? Because guess what? When your body's stressed, it's not healing or detoxifying as efficiently as it is when you're in a state of relaxation. How can you set that tone and that environment for your body to feel more relaxed? Alright, number two, stop neglecting self-care. It's so easy to think of self-care as selfish pampering, or maybe that's just me. Maybe that's how I've always viewed it. But I have learned through different seasons in life how critical a commitment to self-care really is. One of the memories that comes to mind is shortly after I gave birth to my daughter.

So she was born in November, 2021. So it's the winter and we weren't fully out of the pandemic yet. And let's just say my daughter had a little bit of a rough start her first couple of weeks. I literally had to hold her 24/7. And I remember sitting in the pediatrician's office, just completely drained of everything. And I looked at him and I said, 'When will I be able to set her down?' Like, when will I be able to set her down? I would see friends posting pictures of their kids on Instagram who were of similar age to my daughter. And they would have their child in a swing or the Mamaroo or the tummy time mat. And I would literally send them messages.

And I'm like, 'How long does your child stay in that swing for?' How long will they allow you to set them on the floor? Oh, it was a really, really hard time. She was worth every minute of it, but it was challenging.' And every new parent goes through different things, right? Like this child's trying to figure out how to live in this world. Some of them have a little bit of a bumpy start, as did she. Anyway, needless to say, I was exhausted. And I desperately needed an acupuncture appointment because that was my place of self-care. Not only was I getting the benefits of acupuncture, but it was one hour of like silence and just time to myself. Well, because of everything going on with my daughter, I really couldn't leave her.

And I didn't have anybody to watch her during the time that I could get an acupuncture appointment. The hours were extremely limited. Literally, this acupuncturist had four hours the entire month. So clearly, I was working around his schedule. He was not working around mine. Anyway, there was an appointment available and I jumped on it and I knew full well that I would not be able to have anybody else watch my daughter during that time. And the acupuncturist office had steps inside. So it wasn't exactly stroller friendly. I had to make it work though. So I showed up with my daughter in the stroller and I had to ask one of the staff members to help me carry the stroller down the steps for my appointment.

And then literally the whole time I'm on the table, I'm rocking the stroller back and forth to keep her sleeping. I needed the appointment. I needed somebody to pour into me at a time that I felt completely drained. So I felt like I had to move mountains to make that appointment happen. And did that one appointment have a drastic or dramatic turnaround for me? No, but there was something that just felt really good that built trust with my body of knowing that I will take care of it. I am trying my hardest. I'm feeling like I'm like drowning right now, but I will try my hardest. And I feel like that-trust with your body is important. So that's an example of what it looked like during that season.

Right now, it may be a 10-minute facial mask that I do in the bathroom. That's what I did this week. I recently got a new order from Beauty Counter. I love their stuff. And I had a new mask that I wanted to try. And I literally, I had 10 minutes that I could sneak into the bathroom. I put it on and it was just nice. It was silent. And I felt like I was doing a little bit of self-care. So it doesn't need to be long. It doesn't need to be expensive or elaborate. But if you're like me, you need to regain that trust with your body again to let it know that you are here to take care of it.

You are here to listen to the whispers so that it doesn't need to get a megaphone out to scream anymore. So my question to you is, what is one self-care practice that you can start doing this week? Is it a walk? Is it a daily devotional? Is it a face mask? Or maybe it's attending a weekly yoga class or taking the time to diffuse some essential oils in your home. Self-care can look and feel different for each of us, but it's important to maintain that in order to maintain our health, especially when we're living with MS. Oh, this next one, I hate admitting this, but I do cringe at it. Welcome new relationships and social events. Listen, I love my friends. I love my friends.

And I love seeing them in person, hugging them, all of it. And I love getting together. But I'm also very much a homebody. So left to my own devices, I'm going to want to stay home all day, every day. That's not good. That is 100% getting in my own way. Social interactions are important. We are meant to live in community. So are you standing in your own way of giving and receiving support and love by avoiding social events and new relationships? And I know this is a big one in the MS community because, whether it's brain fog or fatigue or mobility issues, we have a lot of very valid reasons to not want to go out and be social butterflies. But the reality is.

We often need to give ourselves that little nudge because staying connected with others, investing in our friendships, our family members, that makes a big difference. Those relationships are literally healing to our body. So are you standing in your own way of giving and receiving love and support by avoiding social events and some good quality time with friends? If so, what is one small baby step that you can take today to overcome this? And that rolls right into this next one. Be willing to accept and ask for help. And this one is another doozy for me. I don't like asking for help. I want to do it myself. I want to do it my way and on my own. Can you say, hello, Alene, you're a control freak. I am fully aware of this.

Yes, I am. But I will often flat out resist help, let alone ask for it. And I know it's very much a pride thing. Again, I don't want to be dependent upon someone else. I want to be able to do it myself. But for what? So I can say I did it all as I'm completely burned out? That doesn't make any sense. Stop resisting help. Ask for it. Accept it. And it can be a little bit of a give and take relationship. Like if it feels better for you as you're thinking about how to implement this one, maybe you identify one thing that you know you would really benefit from if you received a little bit of help with it.

So maybe you identify that one thing that you need help with, and then you also identify another area in which you can give or offer some help. So if that feels like a better balance for you, then go for it. It can feel really good to help others as well. So make sure that you have that good balance there, but especially be willing to accept and ask for help. And this can be for so many different things. You know, I was talking with a client recently and she was saying that she struggles with being consistent with her supplements. And she asked one of her family members to help fill her supplement container each week. And she's like, it made such a difference because when that's filled, then I know I'm going to be consistent with taking the supplements every single day.

If it's not, I'm not going to be consistent with them. So that's something that if a family member can help fill that for you, then it makes it so much easier. That's a simple ask. That's a very simple ask. Somebody can do that while they're watching TV on the couch. Just don't drop any supplements in between the cushions. Or maybe you need some help with understanding insurance. So you call a friend who's pretty savvy with that. Or maybe you need some help with somebody going to a doctor's appointment with you or teaching you how to cook. Maybe there's somebody in the neighborhood who's a really good cook or somebody who's at your church that can help you create some new recipes or learn how to follow some recipes that are some really good veggies.

Like you can start small and start simple, but be willing to ask for some help. All right, let's keep this rolling here. We got 10 that we are working our way through. So next up, set realistic expectations. If you want to get out of your own way, set some realistic expectations. Stop setting unrealistic expectations. I am queen of that. And I am committed to this year being the year that I'm not doing it. Now, this one goes so well with the one that we started off with of not over committing yourself and here and setting realistic expectations. This is a really big priority for me this year. And it makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it because I have big goals. I have lots of things that I want to do and achieve and accomplish.

And then I also want to be super present with my daughter. That is my greatest priority. And I don't want to sacrifice that. So how do you make sure that you protect that time with your daughter as well as protect your health and protect the dreams that you have for the work that you do? You have to make sure that you are setting realistic expectations and that you're recognizing that different seasons of life will allow different amounts of work and different amounts of focus. Time goes by so quickly. We have to make sure that we are setting realistic expectations for the season of life that we are in. I mean, am I alone in saying that I always have such high expectations for myself? I doubt it.

In this community here, we are all cut from a similar cloth, my friends. It's why we all gel so well together. I know my expectations aren't realistic for my pre-MS self, so they're definitely not realistic for my post-MS self. So I'm learning that I can actually be far more effective by doing less, but doing it really well. It's more enjoyable. And again, it's more effective. So look at your expectations for yourself right now, both short-term and from a long-term perspective, do either of them need to be adjusted? If so, what's the first step you can take in making those adjustments? Ignoring the step will only lead to frustration and constantly feeling defeated. But when you can set some realistic goals and allow yourself some breathing room to live, to heal, to enjoy life, and in turn end up being more productive with the things that are most important to you in life, that's what it's all about.

So make sure that you are setting realistic expectations for yourself. Okay, now let's keep it moving. Next up, learn to practice open communications. Oh, I 100% used to shy away from open communications or like deep conversations. There was just too much vulnerability tucked in there and it felt really uncomfortable. I was always the listener. I was a great listener. And because of it, so many of my friends would come to me with both like their worries, but also like their celebrations too. I was the one that got to be the lucky one that would receive the first call. And I welcomed it. I loved it. Maybe that was God preparing me and training me to be an effective coach. Who knows? But I remember when I was first diagnosed with MS, I kept my diagnosis under lock and key.

Nobody about it. I literally didn't tell anybody. But I got to the point where I started feeling really resentful at the fact that I felt like I had to carry around the weight of my diagnosis as a secret. That just didn't make sense. And I didn't want to live like that anymore. So, I didn't. I started sharing my diagnosis with other people, one friend, one conversation at a time. And it was so healing, which by the way, if you are in this stage right now of like figuring out how to tell your family and friends about your diagnosis. Back in season one of this podcast, I have an episode titled 'How to Tell Your Family and Friends You Have MS.' And it gives a lot of good tips and tricks and strategies on how to have those conversations.

And I share a lot of my personal journey that I had in opening up to my family and friends. And each of them was slightly different, how I approached the conversation. But it was so healing. It was so good to start having some open communications with family and friends about my diagnosis. And quite honestly, because of it, I've become a better communicator as a whole. And it has helped tremendously, especially in like marriage. My goodness, when I am able to speak up sooner and be more honest about how I'm feeling, mostly due to like frustrations of MS fatigue. That makes it so much more helpful for me, but also for my husband, because then my frustration is never misinterpreted as something towards him when it's not. I really try to jump in front of it.

And let him know how I'm feeling, what's going on, and if there's anything in particular in that moment that I need help with or I need his support with. Don't get me wrong, my communications are far from perfect, but I can definitely say that this is an area that I have grown tremendously in, and I hope to continue to grow in it. So ask yourself, where are you currently shying away from open communications? And how can you take just one step closer to changing that? Maybe that first step is writing in a journal so that you can get honest with yourself about how you feel. Remember, we're talking about how to get out of your own way. So even though some of those steps are uncomfortable, they're ultimately going to be freeing for you.

We want to help you not feel like you are battling against yourself anymore. And some of these steps, like getting honest with how you feel and then being able to have some open, honest conversations, are so healing for you in the moment, but they're also freeing for you on a bigger scale-not feeling like you're standing in your own way anymore. And that one really goes in tandem with this next one here, which is stop ignoring your emotional health. This one should be titled 'How to get out of your own way from healing.' Emotions are the most overlooked area when it comes to a healing plan. We feel like we can just disconnect from them or that they're completely unrelated to our health and our healing, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

Our bodies have a very physical response to emotions and we can't ignore them. And God knows we have a storm of emotions that we experience during a diagnosis. It feels like we are on an emotional rollercoaster and it can feel like you never get off that rollercoaster if you don't take the time to process the fear, the doubt, and all the uncertainty. Ignoring emotional health is 100% standing in your own way of not only healing but enjoying life. And I've talked about this again on previous episodes before, but if that is something that you struggle with, there are so many options to consider to help work through those emotions, whether it's journaling, going for a walk, taking some yoga classes, prayer, meditation, visiting with a counselor, like so many different things that you can explore.

Trying to keep it bottled up or just keeping it down isn't working because ignored emotions eventually resurface. And again, our body has a very physical response to emotions. So we want to make sure that we are processing them well. Now let's shift gears a little bit. Next one, we are shaking up any old routines. Let me preface this one by saying I am a fan of routines. I think they are a highly efficient way to live. So I'm not knocking routines. What I want to draw our attention here to in the context of standing in your own way is becoming too set in our ways. We may be following old routines that no longer serve us in this stage of life or this stage of healing.

So it really is important to Have some check-ins every once in a while. Do some periodic check-ins with your routines to make sure that they're still serving you. And if they're not working, figuring out how you need to adapt them. So over this next week, pay attention to any routines that you currently are doing. And really try to evaluate, is this still serving me? Or is this just something that I have done for weeks and months and years? And now you pick your head up and you're like, 'this doesn't even make sense anymore.' And this next one, leverage support networks. Too often, we think that we need to handle everything ourselves, but support networks exist for a reason. And I'll be the first to say, sometimes the traditional support groups don't feel like a good fit for everybody.

I hear from so many people that they go to a support group with so much hope. And then when they get there, they feel out of place. They feel like they don't have it, quote unquote, as worse as everybody else does. And then they end up feeling guilty for being there when really they have a lot that is on their mind and their heart as well, but they just don't feel like they fit in quite well there. If that's the case, maybe you explore a different support group, but know that there are also a lot of online communities and I offer a lot of community support as well. So the most important thing is just finding what feels like a right fit for you.

I don't know why, maybe this is a little silly, but as I'm thinking this out, like I feel like it's a little bit like dating. Like you got to go and you got to go on a few dates before you realize like what you like and what you don't like. So maybe that applies here to support networks and communities. But find your people. Find your people. Don't do MS alone. We are not meant to do life alone and we're definitely not meant to do MS alone. So let me just say that if you are a listener here to this community, I am so grateful for you. I am so glad that you tune into this and I hope that you feel supported by it. And I would love to hear your feedback as well.

So please share a message on blog or send me an email over on social media, whatever works best. I love, love, love to hear from you. And speaking of social media, that leads me to my last point here: Stop comparing yourself to others. If you want to get out of your own way, stop comparing yourself to others. This is never more important and more relevant in the age of social media. We fall into the trap of comparison so easily. And yet we all know that social media is the highlights reel of everyone's life. Like very rarely is somebody posting about their ho-hum day. They're posting the family that looks like they just got a picture out of a Christmas catalog. And that's what they're posting on social media. And I don't blame them.

I have pictures of my family that I am very proud of that I may post too. But we can't look at each other's pictures and feel that we are less than or we're not as far ahead in life or all the different things that we can tell ourselves because we have no idea. We have no idea what's going on in anyone else's life. I will share with you this. I thought about adding this in as I was preparing for the episode and I was like, 'Ah, maybe I'll leave that out.' But now I'm thinking about it. I think it's just so relevant. I have a friend who I grew up with and I'm connected with her on social media, but I certainly haven't seen her in a while, like the social media connections that you maintain.

Anyway, long story short, she had been posting some incredible pictures of she and her children. And she was just constantly like living life. They were vacationing, they were going to concerts, they were going to games, like they were doing life, they were enjoying it all. And I've watched her over the better part of a year. I mean, I've certainly been connected with her for longer than that, but it was the better part of this one year. And I was like, 'oh my gosh', like she is doing it. She's doing it. She's got the career. She's got the family. She's got all the things. I thankfully didn't look at it from like a jealousy standpoint. I looked at it more of like admiration and kind of saw it as like

, 'that's the kind of mom that I want to be', or that's the kind, you know, like, I guess I looked at it more from like a role model perspective, because, because quite honestly, she was a mentor for me at one point in my life. Anyway, I'm watching these pictures, you know, fill up her social media feed over the better part of a year. And then randomly one day she puts up a post about a diagnosis that she had one year prior. And she talks all about the struggles that she had. And quite honestly, she didn't know what direction this diagnosis was going to take her, but it didn't look like it was going to go in a favorable direction.

So here, this entire year that she had been posting, were all of the moments that she was clinging to with her family and in life because she didn't know where life was going to take her. She wanted to get every last bit out of her life. And thankfully, the story does end well in that she did overcome the illness and she is doing much better for it. But that was such a big 'aha' for me because I looked at that. It was a very humbling moment. And I'm like, look at you thinking that somebody's social media feed is a reflection of their fairytale life. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, she's getting some major surgeries, major treatment. She's got a life that feels like it's probably falling apart and crumbling right in front of her.

Stop comparing yourself. Stop comparing yourself to other people. And definitely stop comparing yourself even to your pre-MS self. Anyone else do that? Before MS, I used to do this. Well, I should be able to do this because before MS, like fill in the blanks, right? Stop. Stop comparing yourself to other people and stop comparing yourself to your pre-MS self. Instead of focusing on other people, focus on your wins. Celebrate your own milestones and your progress, no matter how small they seem. Because when we celebrate our wins, we train our brain to succeed and win again. Celebrate those small wins each and every day. And here's a win. Let's celebrate the fact that we made it to the end of this top 10 list.

I hope that you feel better equipped to start getting out of your own way in this new year. All right, let's do a quick recap here. Stop overcommitting, prioritize self-care, welcome new relationships and social activities, be willing to accept and ask for help, set realistic expectations, learn to practice open communication, Stop ignoring emotional health, shake up those old routines, use support networks, and stop comparing yourself to others. All right, my friends, as always, the conversation continues over on ailinebrennan. com/ backslash blog. For every podcast episode, there is a blog post over there. So especially for today's episode that had quite a long list, if you want to head on over to the blog, you can print a copy out or just have the refresher of seeing the visual list there.

And I encourage you to add into the comments, what are some things that you do to help get out of your own way? Or I'd also love to hear which one of these resonates most with you and which one you're committing to this year. Well, my friend, we've reached the end of this episode. Pick one lesson from today's discussion and put it into action now. It's time to reclaim your body, mind, and life from multiple sclerosis. And for more resources, events, and programs, head over to Alenebrennan. com. See you on the next episode of my MS podcast.